Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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