After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
