"it" just moved
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize