I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize