I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
