to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
