Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
