i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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