never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
