I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
