Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
