guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize