Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
