I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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