I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
