yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
