I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
