eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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