WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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