so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
