Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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