I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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