I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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