Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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