ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
