Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
