My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
