well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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