i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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