Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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