Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
