i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
