you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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