i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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