I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's shark week go big or go home
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
