Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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