I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
