I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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