just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
