College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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