why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize