so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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