he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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