All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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