She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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