I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
