i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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