yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
