I want to stick my p in your. b.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
