I showed him my bush... on skype.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
