Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
