I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
