I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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