After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
