I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
