We're like a lot better than the average bears
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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