I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
