what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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