Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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