I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
