Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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