Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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