How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize