Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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