His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
