is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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